About the Author...
Greetings my Dear Reader! You now have the magnificentest pleasure known to all knowledgeable and intelligence-enabled planet-dwelling beings: to learn more about your greatly esteemed Creator, Marcus Lawrence-Harrison Berzenski III, Grand Ruler of the 303rd Island of Baird, located off the coast of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Where, oh where, could one ever begin in the complex task of detailing the many fascinating, ever eclectic events of Marcus’ dear life? It all began in a sterilized, immense catacomb of white rooms located deep within the heart of Mountain View, California. A place borne of life and death. In a small room like all of the others, a spectacular event happened. A woman gave birth to a Boy. This is not the spectacular part, though. The spectacular part is that the little Tyke just, perchance, happened to be, due to the particular alignment of the clouds and stars that night, to be, and not to be mistaken for anyone else, your modest Author. It is therefore with this incredibly humble beginning that a great life began. Over the next few years, Marcus overcame many incredulous and challenging obstacles. He dared to be one of the first children to ever read and walk before the age of Nine. He dared to converse with His parents and even other now-enlightened souls long before ever stepping foot in a University. He truly embodied the spirit of a great man all throughout His life and He continues to do so even on this very day.
By the tender age of two, He decided that the rolling, majestic plains of California were no longer to his liking. Informing His parents of this decision, the family rushed off across the country, spanning miles and miles in search of the perfect home for Marcus at this point in His life. They settled down again in the land of grass and trees: Sparks, Maryland. Luckily, the Author’s father happened to be transferred in his economy-based occupation during this specific timeperiod to this particular land, so everything worked out well for the family. It was in this new home that a new member of the Berzenski family came into being: Seanithan Michael-Greenleaf Berzenski II. Marcus decided in this new home that He would like to begin His education, so He enrolled Himself into the prestigious Sparks Academy of Elementary Knowledge and Learning.
Marcus was disappointed with the slow speed of His learning, though, and thusly made the difficult decision to move His family to a better location: one more supportive and nurturing of intelligence and knowledge. Again, a wonderous coincidence had Marcus’ father moving working locations at the same time, so His father decided to choose their next home with this being the Place of Keystones: Lansdale, Pennsylvania. After completing an intense and rigourous application and interviewing process, Marcus was admitted easily into the Institute of Higher Learning known as Gywn-Nor Elementary Academy of Schooling. He also decided that the duties of a Higher schooling were not sufficient to fill His available time, so Marcus tried out and won starting positions on the Lansdale Soccer and Baseball Teams, both champions of not one, but two counties. His athletic abilities were so formidable, in fact, that Marcus would only be needed for a minute or two for each game. This allowed Him to nobly give more time to his other players so they may learn and become more like Marcus through His example. Additionally, Marcus miraculously managed to locate time in his schedule for dramatic works. His theatrical debut came in only the fourth grade as a leading character in the Tony-award-winning play, “Homeroom.” Marcus’ role as a “locker-rocker” combined the talents of a dancer, a singer, and an actor, all into one diverse and wide-spread role. His screen presence was so powerful, in fact, that He needed only appear for approximately four minutes in the entire play for His effect to be felt. The director additionally felt that Marcus’ role did not even require dialogue since His amazing natural facial emotive powers would be more than sufficient to convey every necessary and complex feeling with ease.
Marcus now decided that more people should be allowed to learn and grow from His example, so the family moved again to the Province of New Jersey and the cityscape known affectionately as Randolph. Here Marcus attended the Intermediate School of the town. Here, Marcus’ acting flourished like that of no thespian ever before in the annals of history. He had the distinct pleasure to portray the tragic hero Doctor (“Doc”) Robinson in the classic myth, “Tom Sawyer.” In this play, Marcus brought the audience of the sold-out show to tears with the infinite sadness only to be known in a beautiful death scene. The following year, Marcus was able to tackle his most difficult role yet with great aplomb: the anonymous and enigmatic shoe salesman in the classic story of regret and redemption, “Cinderella.” Finally, Marcus decided in New Jersey to try His Renaissance skills in another realm of the Fine Arts: the Choir of Voices. However, Marcus had had enough of the charms of the East Coast by this point in His life and decided to venture out to the one part of the country that He had not set His eyes upon yet: the Mid-West.
To the Land of Lincoln now: Barrington, Illinois. It was here that Marcus mediated and decided upon enrolling in the noble Highest School of Education of Barrington to complete His basic studies before His entrance to one lucky University. Here, Marcus tackled an immense variety of classical and modern topics in the course of His stay here: ranging from grand Physical topics to artistry and architecture. By the middle of the fourth year of His stay in this land, however, He turned his eyes to Universities across the country. A daunting question (at least for a normal individual) was posed in front of Him: which University would be worthy to have its presence graced with Marcus? The search went country-wide: many different campuses were circumnavigated, but only a choice few were selected for the honor of receiving an application from Marcus. After an intense deliberation process in the Spring, Marcus selected the University back in His beloved East-Coast, the University of Pennsylvania. So, it is now back in the Keystone Land that we find Marcus, fervently studying the Sciences and Engineering Applications of Computers. The future is an open book to Him that He plans to explore with a heart gorged on experience and knowledge. We would all do our best to try and learn as much as possible from His Grand Example.
Your Humble Author
March The 4th Being In The Year 2000.